I usually am an early bird and have the coffee started somewhere between 430-530 and get myself settled in my favorite chair with the slider slightly open to let a crisp morning breeze into my living room! This time is the greatest time of my day. It is a time of luxury and peace that I wish and hope everyone could experience. Yes, it is easy now. These mornings became a routine after i spent some time purposing to get up early to have time to journal, pray and read. Most days that I begin this way are the most peace filled days in my life. Even writing about this time brings a big grin to my face! This year hasn't been filled with many mornings like these.
You see earlier this year, in January my mom passed, and I was unprepared for the variety of emotions that I have experienced. Many days and nights I would be numb, just kind of wandering throughout my day. At the least likely time I would feel this huge wave of emotion engulf me. Deep sadness and I would be so weepy. I can honestly tell you I had NO thoughts. I had a routine of living those days early this year. Unfortunately during this time I had offended my friends with my lack of interest and interaction in their lives. I was unable to explain my feelings and emotions, and apologizing seemed flat, and I was apologizing to so many people. My routine would be get up, make coffee, and sit! I would catch myself just sitting with a blank stare out the window, thought-less. Hmm, kind of hard to believe or even imagine what that state would be like unless you have experienced it yourself. You see, grief and loss are different for each and every person. Loss is the separation from or removal of something meaningful to an individual. Simply put, something was taken away in such a way as not to be retrieved. I had lost my focus, my desires, motivation and joy of dreaming.
This year has been about finding a new norm, a new chapter, a new time and in this new time the opportunity to have new dreams. I believe that I am coming out of a fog into a new environment and life of health and hope.! I want to dream BIG, GRAND and in exceptionally amazing ways! So in my mornings I am enjoying the time of wandering thoughts playing the "what if" game. It is a slow process, this time of spring when new life and buds are becoming visible is the perfect word picture to visualize what I am experiencing. Dreams! I look forward with great anticipation to the development of my dreams and desires. My daily journal entries seem so full of anticipation, and wonder. In future blogs I will share, and in the meantime please share with me some of your dreams! Send me an email about "what if..." Share with me your dreams!!!
I encourage you, DREAM! Dream BIG, Dream in GRAND over the top kind of ways!
Let's dream together!